Pop Goes the Weasel

Pop goes the weasel {does it in my mouth} and what a weasel he was, I mean I do see the lessons and how some relationships help you grow but he also was a weasel.

One would say a bit of a shit!!!

Opinions everyone has one and likes to give there two pennies worth on the advice Richter scale except when you’re

Deceased husband dies, especially when they are fresh dead, you know still a little warm but not quite cold either, lukewarm…

Thought be a good idea to share the funny aspects that happen the process of death to funeral and smile a bit too much.

You’re in the room of the hospital although to be frank is a glorified death cell let’s face it. you’re sat there praying holding space heart wide open, the last words are “I Love you”, “you Love me” should have tried bloody harder then …

I mean at what point do you realise that drinking yourself to death is Love, it’s simply a slow suicide and not much bloody fun, well it is while doing it but keep thinking it be okay eventually well hey you kept ignoring the signs and well the ultimate. rant over so I’m still here by the hospital bed and I’m sat looking at this heart monitor and it’s going down very quickly I have no clue I thought if I blow it, it might go back up funny the subliminal things you do.

 The monitor looks very much like the crypto red candle, green candle and either way if you haven’t put stops losses on, you’re fooked it’s the Same feeling of dread.

When it clicks with you what’s going on its proper weird had lots of weird, but this was a bit like the twilight zone, everything slowed down time and space well not existing which makes you feel like your soul popped out your body because it couldn’t take the heat .in fact it was the deceased that’s soul buggered off into Narnia, never ending story land.

After sobbing like a wailing banshee for 2 hours I compose myself and decided I really don’t like hospitals so it’s time to go, except feels rather weird going into the hospital on a Thursday and only recently taken the l plates off having mastered it from curb bashing and well nearly killing the bugger myself to taking the wheelchair and clothes.

Shrapnel people keep the strangest stuff I mean three one pennies, whatever luck they were supposed to bring (it ain’t working), a snotty tissue thankfully dry ish ,crystals (again not working),keys ,phone, wallet that had a fiver in it lucky me no an old one ,gathering the clothes before they run out that smelled of the disinfectant and lurking sweat smell lurking beneath the radar.

I leave the room with my wheelchair in tow looking like that mad woman you know the one in the street who has a pram with no one in it, anyhow I walk along the hospital corridor having been like that friend you don’t keep in touch with there nice enough like but I would rather chat on the phone anyway I’m out here…

Finally gets to other end of the corridor which actually is like a marathon work out feeling raw ,but have this funny laughter starting on the inside of me at the irony of this wheelchair and going down the escalator not like anyone’s in it and going to fall out other than the manky clothes and lack of a body sitting in it .another hurdle was the Turnstyle doors or them roundabout doors with a traffic light system no one adheres to. And when they do step in it too soon your buggered and look like a flat faced fish.

Gasped fresh air oh the joy and sunny although not such a sunshine kind of day I find my car as everything’s a blur and honestly quite literally in zombie mode and have not the faintest clue how I actually did get home  to my flat, backtracking like you do slightly ,hats off to them women who close buggies in one hand ,I mean lets face it this adult wheelchair means shag all shit to me and so decided it wanted to fight with me upon pushing, squeezing and kicking it all the way into the car and my temper needing to get the better of me and then me going oh were does that emotion come from ….oh do fuck off !!, a fun reminder of the film Highlander honestly it is how I looked too proper snot dribbling psycho looking “There will be only one winner!

Hoooraaaah!!! It’s in the boot.

Home

Helllooo!!! ….as if someone would answer ?? bloody hell after the collapsing of the wheelchair that would be up there if I got an answer, I shit you not. I highly deserve a nice brew although I’m sure most would want a stiff harsher drink than a cuppa but that kind of is the point to this pop situation it was too much pop, it’s the kind of drink that makes your inside body into a gloopy soup then you sick it all up out your mouth on passing over till you finally pop.

I know sounds funny and harsh the above but hey if it makes one more person stop that poison in the name of having a good time with family and friends, or one for the road, or new job, hard day, I need to relax excuses, I’m all for celebrating life but come on do healthy stuff. it’ll pop you in the end.

Feelings

Not one to be skipped, cry your absolute arss off as this is a great release. after crying from all the stored emotions of your body ,journal it out, music and dance and simply let go let go .

I personally wanted to heal having witnessed another’s grieving and I set the intention I would feel everything all the hurt the stored-up emotions, the funny times over a long duration like you do, laugh oh my days I laughed, and it broke all the crying up let’s face it at one point I was looking like rocky balboa from Rocky movie.

Arranging The Pop Funeral.

Arranging the pop funeral so here’s the thing after going through music that night which was rather pleasant got lost in the singing and realised, I best crack on.

The hospital did give me this booklet it wasn’t a good read you know were you sit and enjoy I nice cuppa cocoa and pjs on blanket over top kind booklet that encapsulates you, for all I know you might be feeling that of this book, but you know what I’m no author or writer.

It popped up in my heart and simply had to share why not chat about the funny side of it ,for all I know right now there might be some other poor bugger going through it and if it helps or comforts or give a little light entertainment even for 5 mins then hey job done, nothing like a good belly laugh ,or better still a drinker who decides to stop now don’t go saying oh I don’t drink everyday that doesn’t make me an alcoholic ,it bloody does it so does if you can not live a month without sticking a drink in your mouth its question time for self .

I digress a bit and I realise I can’t find my mobile it’s either that or my glasses always going a drift there it is!

GOOGLE… yes, I did I so did good old google.

How to arrange a funeral? Yep I so did, google bang on with as much information as possible ...oh this ones perfect for me google bang on actually this one is best clear, concise, job done, anything close you would have lost me.

Wiki how to arrange a funeral… no you didn’t oh yes, I did I tell you no shit this had step by step too, walk you through it what could go wrong eh!

Another Day in Zombie Paradise.

I gets a call (ring ring ring I always check who’s phoning) oh it’s the chap from hospital mortuary department ever so friendly, so he has a conversation about a body like you know and was helpful till he said we hold the body (eye roll )

I mean hold the body what literally? No, I have no clue what came out but was rather jovial, he said Noo we hold the body in the mortuary for 7 days a week to be precise.

What then? Well, the funeral parlour will take him from there, I’m having a moment of thinking what’s he going to have short back and sides a nice pedicure while in there arrange they take body at their end.

oh, right funeral parlour Oh right got you now

A brief conversation but I had to laugh, and certain laughing wasn’t the best idea.

Ha I mean what they going to do if you don’t arrange the parlour to pick up body in 7 days, make a raft out of driftwood, got loads of that, tie with rope , stick body on ,aim fire with fire bolting fire driven arrow  set out to sea like the Vikings did back in the day.

Honestly you can’t make this shit up had to laugh though. I did manage to get a funeral parlour sorted via face ache social media from my arty friend’s recommendation proper clever I am.

Anyway that’s that sorted after much conversations, crying, laughing, shitting, yes shitting I know body is releasing a lot of emotions not fussy are they at a lot of shitting. that and dealing with dick head family who are not mine 

Arty community/family

Next day was asked by Dawn to go for coffee to our amazing art community and family at Hive which is a coffee house in Blackpool run by 2 amazing heart centred chaps

It’s a great venue and these chaps who own Hive do so much for there community including hosting arty big and small exhibitions and fares.

If I’m honest I was rather dreading it seeing everyone first time out after well you know, but it was big knicker time in for a penny in for a pound.

Saw Dawn first one of our arts curators who turned round kind of gobsmacked me in a good way.

Remember most people have an opinion except when you lost a loved one, then they hide for cover.

Dawn …you relieved then? erm… yes kind off yes actually yes

May seem out of the ordinary but nothing like a women in her own truth and saying her truth, she’s an absolute diamond full of unconditional love and maturity, Kates there two the other curator lovely ladies so wonderful to have there kindness and support.

I’m sure I had almost lived at the Hive that week. I sound like I’m advertising them and yes because they were good to me and everyone else too.

Heloooo.. home again still no answer it’s how I got through hat first week at least well that and angels now if you don’t believe in them fine well I do and quite frankly would not have got through life without them either, even now there my rock, the month to come they helped me release old stagnant energies that don’t go to the light ,better than what everyone else suggested all sorts of hocus pocus from my witchy friends back then ,I woke up having no clue what I was doing and asked archangel Michael clapped hands whoosh and gone ,so grateful and thankyou ,all sorts of clarity prompts and what to do.

Meanwhile while it looked like I was living the high life suddenly and swanning for afternoon high tea and living it large (that’s to come later as I find out, but at this point you do not know how your life really does turn and change and life is to live).

Between coffee and home, it was conversations and my internal inner work and dialogue.

Laughter is the best!

Decided to watch a bit of Peter Kay I was guided to watch deep down and hey going with the flow too.

Boy am I ready for a giggle, well it’s not all crying and don’t stay down that slope your bloody awesome and days do get better like 100% better .and your awesome!!!

Peter Kay gets me before he even cracks a joke and love how he uses every day life and examples, guess he’s relatable really so what better than finding his one on funeral, nothing like a good belly laugh, so its Peter Kay Guess who died ?Live at the Bolton Albert Halls on tuba loob my nick name for you tube .proper laugh needed and I so did and so will you .

Celebrant -Celebration Chico time

Still answering calls feels like I made some new friends even if for a week or two, celebrant calls me to say could I answer some questions on his life and basically get the whole low down on him ,and I to send it via what’s app ,what’s app like what happened to good old fashioned email ,it’s not like I was going to get a big red book off Eammon Andrews this is your life anytime soon !

This Is Your Life! I crack on with it anyway I remember loads of his funny stories and the childhood friends filled the rest in from when he was younger, much gratitude chaps, so had to wait on them too.

All information in between that and going back and forth thankfully got some amazing funny and wild accounts of his childhood antics, I set about transferring all this copy and paste to this celebrant what’s app I was still doing my last message sent till about 2.30 am had no choice he had a deadline excuse the pun.

Most of the time I was on phone arranging, answering daft questions that don’t matter anymore and waiting on paperwork.

Hive and arranging the send-off, Bash!

Being bothered by cheap food that Jonathan was a total snob on, that and his weird addictions, I know really did not matter but why oh why do we insist on having a bash at all? most who go are in it for the free nosh like they are when they go to a wedding anyway.

Conversation between me and David one of the owners of Hive.

David

So, what is it you want Lisa? Although he knew at this point but wanted to know what food etc.

Me

well obviously, there is us arty tribe and a few friends’ family coming up.

Me and David

Yes we chat about there fabulous canopies and stuff, oh and the sausage rolls I goes not them cheap ones them pork and leek ones he likes (them posh ones) almost like saying posh makes them posher that word has no relevance on the food other than maybe better, quality is what maybe expressed, oh and your wonderful canopies too sorted, I must admit these days what with the meat eaters, vegetarian, and vegan it gets all confusing.

Don’t make me Larf!!!i mean I’m putting on a spread of food for someone who aren’t going to be there, it’s like having a birthday bash or wedding bash and they flat refuse to go (excuse the pun).

Oh, this and swing by the funeral parlour with his clothes, a cross, and his mums picture watch and no I did not see him, I have no idea why you would either.

Everything is Set

Everything is set I also had to get a dress from tkmaxx a cheap white one and I came up with a creative surge of an idea of getting 3 of his shirts and jeans cut butterflies and stitched them all on, my version of pimping my dress up or bedazzled both not the best description for a creative deceased lased dead man’s clothes on dress, it took a while that actually took two nights though ,

Well I, it wasn’t any ordinary pop funeral anyway it was required for all to wear rainbow colourful clothing and who better to pull that look off than a load of not right oddities of arty community friends and family pull this cool look off there all unique in every way possible .

They are the kind of family to have to a funeral a vibrant one at that.

Pop Day

Arrived by my own car to Pop funeral parlour picking up 3 of my great arty soul sister artists (super talented too).

Had a quick fag break outside I know seems hypocritical but hey stopped since. Time to go in looked like I was going to a party and my 3 amazing friends too all looking super stylish colourful too.

It hit me a little went into the parlour having walked past the car, it’s not a limo like they have in the movies like a movie star kind of car ,I smile I have no idea why / but I do this its like a nervous thing I do and my face quite expression ate too and does not lie it tells  you everything  and this day was no exception  a big bonkers smile ,I mean really !

We arrive at the crem de le crem I mean crematorium not emporium.

And more friends there from Blackpool, and his best friend came and the other friend oh my days I forgot the deceased in question said that I thought his wife was boring rather a long time ago so I wasn’t received too well from this in fact he looked quite venomous although he kindly was a pall bearer .

It was true although I wasn’t quite so cutting of course don’t gossip about anyone it hurts others journal it out  reason it out .

So, no pleasantries there today although the celebrant did say I kept him awake till 2.30 am from what’s app, that’s why email is quitter no noise hellooo…service went well however.

Off to Hive I know another bloody coffee the alternative is being in a coffin!!

This was basically chit chat food a catch up with friends then home, ready to face my life alone!!

Or so I thought.

A year later went to beach with his ashes and it backfired all over me.

What I learned? from everything lessons are growth   Love self and others unconditionally everything is an inside job.

Live Life in present moment

Forgive self and others

Gratitude for everything.

Laugh

Love

Since this I have a completely new life!

Still Growing independently too!

I would be very grateful for energy exchange of donate if you recieved a bit of a laugh

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